Harmony

Brahmacharya - non-excess, non-hoarding, abstinence, restraint.

It's probably the most topical of the Yamas as translated it means celibacy. It's true, traditionally the path of yoga asks the practitioner to conserve their sexual energy. It's also still practiced in the Vipassana world if you are an old-student (coming just before the vow to abstain from using high and luxurious beds🙂 )

Some lineages still practice celibacy believing the energy used in sexual activity could better be used towards yourself on your yogic path.

In his book, The Yoga Sutra of Patañjali Chip Hartranft translates this sutra into ''sexual energy, impeccable conduct''. He describes how it is our attachments that cause us to conduct ourselves in ways that oppose the preservation of energy, sexual or not.

When applied, the right use of energy can be transformational.

Boundaries

I feel boundaries are the new buzz word. Everyone is wanting to learn more about them and how to implement them. I like to believe the pandemic gave us the time and space to really sit with things, like our own energy source, and check in to see if it really is serving us or not.

We all know the feeling you get when you spend time with someone heavy, negative. It's draining. You feel empty. It feels like the weight of 700 elephants on your shoulders.

It's not always clear cut. Sometimes we don't see the areas where we need to step in until it's too late. If you have been feeling in conflict around a topic for a while, sit with it and try to get to the root of what a boundary would look like. Is it asking the person for space? Is it having a direct conversation where you say what you need and ask for what you want? Is it honouring your own self first and asking them to take their own reins for a while?

Boundaries also exist with ourselves too. You may know me from previous tangents such as ''self-care'' . . . .

You must protect yourself, your energy and your time. Stop putting others before you. Prioritise your needs and wants. Confront your demons and work towards eradicating their control over you. Face difficult conversations. Carve time out of your day each day for quiet, slow time.

Nobody is going to hand these things to you. I love the idea that self-care is an act for future you. By doing something now, you are doing something future you can thank you for. Because applying self-care when the wheels fall off is damage control. Girlfriend, you are worth more than damage control 😉

Listen To Your Body

Ah, the ole gem. This one is so present for me. Perhaps it's where I am in life or perhaps it's a message from the Universe but I think the last few years have been so impactful in this journey.

Ok, we are going to take a wee history lesson here in the life of Leonie. Are we ready? Ok lesssggooo.

Throwback to Leonie 5 years ago. She worked a heavy government facing corporate job, she was training as a yoga teacher, she was training Crossfit hard 6-7 times a week, she was manipulating her diet to get both stronger and faster at her beloved sport, she was operating on the basis of air and crossed fingers. She lost her period. She didn't get it back for 2 years.

Fast forward a year, after she thought she had ''done the work'', she found herself in a similar situation. This time though, as she dealt with the stress of moving across the world, she worked 2 jobs and kept an intense training schedule. This time, it was her gut that sent the message home (period disappeared again too, cos it's sound like that😉 ). She spent months between hospitals, doctors and naturopaths. Her hair fell out, her belly would swell 3 fold after eating a grape. Her body was quite literally fighting itself. The solution - this is a stress response, sort your life out or this will keep happening and quite literally we don't know what's going to give in next.

Throughout it all the message was clear.

It's not about my body. It was never about my body. It's about my noodle and my belief system. My self worth was caught up in a cycle of do better -> be better -> you are better -> medal.

It took years, friends. YEARS for this message to be debunked. It took years to realise, on a felt sense, that my productivity had nothing to do with the hours I slayed or my accomplishments on paper. I still have to catch myself if I notice I am on a path that's not very friendly - it calls me to dig deep and see what's up with my sense of self.

I ignored every message my body sent because I pushed through. Because I wanted that 1kg Personal Best. Because I wanted to win the next account. Because I wanted to be a #BossB. Because I wanted the woo that came with the $ in the bank. Because other people’s opinions of me trumped my own.

The signs were there, the signals were there but instead of listening, I ignored them until they had no choice but to present themselves all shiny and nice in the form of ER dashes at 2 am. My body fought so hard for me, to protect me and to work as hard as I wanted. Yet I didn't play my part. I abused it, pushed it, treated it like rubbish and it had enough.

If there is anything you take from reading my words, please let it be this. You are enough as you are. You do not need anything external nor anyone's words to prove your importance or significance in this world. You are wonderfully whole and perfect as you are.

A smaller body will not bring happiness.

More $ in the bank will not bring happiness.

The relationship of your dreams will not bring happiness.

But how you view yourself, and your interactions with this world, will.

Balance

Here's the thing with balance. I don't believe it exists.

We are not enlightened monks, living under a tree with all our needs met and birds landing on our shoulders. No. We live in a complex, tumultuous world. Each day is wonderfully unique with many different challenges and opportunities. We are bombarded with choice and expectations, responsibilities and challenges. We can't live a life of balance just off the bat.

I think, though, that we can strive for harmony. Harmony doesn't say that the split is 50/50. Harmony suggests there is space where both can co-exist minute by minute.

There is a beautiful lesson in the Yoga Sutras 2.46 ''sthira sukham asanam''

Roughly translated to ''create unshakeable ease through posture''. Sthira is steadiness and sukha is ease.

What does a life lived with both steadiness and ease look like for you today?

Use Of Energy

Why waste your energy on something you can not control?

Lessons in non-attachment 101🙂

We have so little control in this world over other people, but we spend SO much time worrying about their words, their thoughts and their actions. There is no way we can know what another thinks, nor can we influence their decisions. We spend time and energy that could be spent on ourselves thinking about others.

At the moment there are two topics of conversation in Ireland - Coronavirus and the weather. The hilarity of the situation is we can control neither, yet it's all we think and talk about. Imagine if we used that energy towards building self-awareness and cultivating compassion - we'd be a land of enlightened beings before May bank holiday weekend🙂

In respect of not stealing your time (Asteya), I will wrap this email up now. Funnily enough, I had another email drafted for this week where I didn't go into my personal story. Yet when I revisited today the words flew from me and I knew they needed to be placed here.

Please, as always, share if you feel compelled to.

Sent with love, always with love,

Leonie Xx